A Second Chance
by Yay-Watermelons
Summary: “Any choice in your life that you made and you regret . . . you can take back . . . just with three turns of the dial. Any choices you feel responsible for, Miss Evans?“ After a tragedy, Lily chooses to live without magic. New summary. AU.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Something I've had floating around my head for a while. Hopefully it's interesting to more than just me? **

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my laptop and even it was a gift. Everything below is a tribute to Ms. Rowling's wonderful work and in no way meant to cause harm to her intellectual property or personal gain to myself.

"He's staring at you again," Adelaide whispered.

Lily didn't need her friend to point out the obvious. She could feel his eyes on her as she tried to scratch out another inch about gillyweed for herbology. It was annoying, but not unexpected.

Glynis snorted. "Everyone's been staring at Lils, here, Addy." She rolled her eyes at the face Lily pulled, before wisely turning back to her paper. "Where does this bloody weed grow again?"

"Highland lochs" Adelaide responded at the same time Lily murmured, "Mediterranean."

Addy looked up momentarily at Lily before pouring back over her essay to change her incorrect answer. Lily took advantage of her friend's distraction to glance across the common room. She met James Potter's eyes immediately, before he had the grace to turn back to his own books, seemingly ashamed at having been caught.

Lily didn't blame him much. After all, it was a difficult thing to do – to stare at someone without them noticing. So difficult in fact that most people at Hogwarts seemed not to bother the past week. Lily had gotten used to the feel of eyes on the back of her head – the front and side of her head too for that matter. The rushed, guiltily turned heads when she looked up from her plate in the Great Hall or the shushed whispers as she walked down a corridor had become almost common place now.

True, some made a noble effort to conceal their stares, like the boy sitting across the common room from her now. Her roommates were part of the few other groups that tried to be discrete to no avail.

"Lils?" Lily realized with a start that said friends were even now trying to get her attention.

"Hmm?" She asked glancing up finally.

"I said that we're heading up to bed," Glynis repeated, not bothering to hide her look of concern.

"Actually," Adelaide jumped in. "What you said was 'I'm sick of this damned bloody essay and I'm turning it in as is even if I have to take the last three inches up with the words, 'THE END.'"

Lily smiled gently. It sounded a lot more in character for her brash friend. "Go on up. I'll join you in a moment," she gestured at her own essay which was tantalizingly close to being complete – without Glynis' last two words.

The two girls standing exchanged glances before sitting back down. "I _do_ have some more charms to read up on now that you mention it," Glynis remarked, searching through her bag.

Lily clenched her jaw tightly once, then twice, before responding. "I don't need a bodyguard. I'll be fine on my own for the five minutes it will take to finish this up," she insisted, her voice appearing more strained than she intended.

Another obvious glance was shared and had Lily grinding her teeth. Noticing this fact, Adelaide wisely jumped up. "If you're sure . . ."

"I'm sure," Lily practically growled.

Glynis looked ready to comment, but Adelaide thankfully pulled her up the stairs before she could do so.

Lily counted to five in her head before letting out a deep sigh, practically collapsing into her high backed chair. Her friends _meant_ well – better than most of the voyeurs she had had to put up with in the last week, but the fact remained that she didn't need people watching over her all the time. What she _needed_ was some time to herself . . . to adjust. To deal.

Lily jumped as she felt hands rest on her shoulders from behind the chair.

"Just relax," Potter's voice whispered from somewhere dangerously close behind as his hands started to knead her between her shoulder blades. "You're too tense."

Both his words and his actions had the completely opposite effect than he intended as Lily unconsciously stiffened.

"I'm fine," she replied automatically, jerking out of his hold. She heard him sigh in frustration behind her and closed her eyes hoping for once he would give up easily.

It was an idle hope.

"You're not," he argued, sliding into the chair Adelaide had just vacated. "You're trying for your friends and that's what I lo-" Potter stopped for a moment. "It's admirable, Lily, but you're allowed to not be fine right now."

Lily couldn't stop the anger that began to bubble up. Who was James Potter to tell her how she should be feeling after last week? They weren't _friends_. In fact if not for the unfortunate choice of Dumbledore selecting him to be Head Boy to her Head Girl she wouldn't even claim to be _acquainted_ with Potter.

"Thanks for the _permission_ to be 'not fine,' Potter, but the fact remains that I am," she snapped. "My parents are . . ." she couldn't bring herself to say it and she hated the fact that she proved him right. "Look, life goes on, right? I'm fine." She started to roll up her scroll, conscious that she would get no more work done tonight.

To her surprise he looked a bit hurt at her response. "Look, Lily, I know . . ."

"Don't!" She shrieked at him, surprised at how shrill her voice was. She took a deep breath to steady her voice before continuing. "Don't tell me you know how I feel!"

"He killed my parents, too, Lily." James' voice was softer than she had ever heard it and yet, his admission carried through the common room, echoing off the empty walls.

Lily sat back abruptly. She should have known that. She should have remembered that time in fifth year when he had disappeared suddenly. For a week there had been peace – or at least a calmer set of corridors. But it didn't change anything.

"It was my fault," Lily whispered, ashamed to find herself crying. She hadn't cried – not once since coming back to school after the funeral and she hated herself for doing it now, especially in front of him.

"Lily! No!" James insisted, reaching for her hands. "He's evil. How could you say . . . how could you even _think_ that?"

"Petunia," she whispered, fingering the letter in her pocket.

"Gesundheit?" he replied, half questioning.

Lily smiled in spite of herself. "My sister," she explained.

"You . . . you have a sister?" James replied. He looked hesitant and Lily couldn't exactly blame him. Despite his frequent declarations of undying love over the past two years, this might have just possibly been the longest personal conversation the two of them had ever shared.

Lily nodded. "She's a muggle, like my whole family is," she continued, before shuddering into sobs once again. "My whole family _was._"

James scooted his chair closer and rubbed one arm up and down Lily's back. She knew she should pull away, that she should go up to bed, that tomorrow she would regret even sharing this much, but she instead leaned further into him, letting him pull her close. Her family was a very affectionate one and seven years at boarding school had made Lily crave physical contact occasionally.

James just held her, muttering occasional comforting noises until she finally managed to breathe normally.

"Thanks," she whispered, pulling back, suddenly embarrassed by how vulnerable she had made herself to him.

"Don't mention it," he whispered, pushing a hair behind her ear. "Lily . . . I don't know what your sister said to you, but this is _not_ your fault."

Lily nodded, even though she knew he was wrong. She didn't need Petunia to point that out. Voldemort was a wizard. She was a witch. Her parents were muggles. He would never have targeted them if it wasn't for her. She stared at the shiny badge on the front of her robes and bit her lip to keep from crying again. If it wasn't for _that_.

Next to her, James let out a giant yawn he only half obscured with his hand. She smiled slightly.

"I'm keeping you up," she remarked.

"Not at ahhhhh" James lie was cut off by another monster yawn. He smiled sheepishly. "Last night was a late night, is all."

"Go get some sleep," Lily ordered.

"Are you-" he started, concern still creasing his brow.

Lily rolled her eyes and cut him off. "Don't finish that sentence if you want to keep this truce we seem to have, James."

James's eyes lit up at the sound of his first name. "So you won't regret this in the morning," he asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.

She flushed at the implications his words may have to someone eavesdropping, before straightening, tossing her hair over her left shoulder. "Who says I don't already regret it?"

He paused, as if afraid that she was sincere, so she continued. "It's a _joke_, Potter. Now let me finish this essay before we end this conversation the way we ended our last one."

James winced at the memory of the particularly nasty hex that Lily had performed on him the last time he had stopped her in the corridor. "Point taken," he said, standing, his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

He was halfway up the stairs before he called back to her lightly across the common room. "And Lily?"

She turned slightly acknowledging his voice. "If you ever need a shoulder to cry on . . . I've got two you know."

Lily didn't answer – she couldn't if she wanted to the lump in her throat was so large. She had been awful to him the last time they had spoken and he had been so kind and understanding tonight. She didn't deserve it.

She didn't deserve any of it. Not the Head Girl position, not friends like Addy and Glynis or a family that loved her . . . that _had _loved her. Suddenly the common room felt small and crowded, even though she was all alone. Lily couldn't breathe, the fire was making the air unbearably hot and she just knew she needed to get _out_.

Lily pushed her chair back from the table, spilling ink on her essay as she stood, papers fluttering to the ground as she stumbled away from her chair. She clutched at her neckline trying desperately to get a breath as she made her way to the portrait hole. In the distance she heard a door creaking open and a clock chiming twelve.

It was long past curfew. Lily knew that she would be in big trouble if a Professor or the caretaker found her right now, but she was beyond such worries. She _needed_ some fresh air. She made her way quickly toward the giant doors of the school and was half afraid they were locked for the night, but her to surprise they opened easily for her and then she was running, tripping over the grounds towards the shore of the lake.

She threw herself down on the shore taking deep breaths in the cool night air and releasing them into deep sobs. It had taken her a week to find her tears and staring up at the moon, Lily wondered if it would take a week to bring them back under control.

"Lily?" James whispered as he crept back down the stairs to the common room. It was foolish to think she was still there, after all she had barely needed to add a full stop to her parchment to be finished. Still, James couldn't help but wish to claim a few more memories of Lily being civil to him before the morning came. Remembering the way her small frame had shuddered in his arms, he couldn't help but think that he would take a thousand hexes from her wand rather than see her so fragile and upset.

"You have got it bad," he muttered to himself as he quickly retrieved his bag from the table he had been studying at earlier in the evening. He stared wryly at his own blank parchment realizing he hadn't been studying transfiguration so much as Lily Evans for the majority of the evening. He glanced over to where she had been moments before, a light smile playing at his lips, before realizing that all her things were still there, scattered across the table and floor.

"Lily?" he repeated. She had to be there. It wasn't like her to leave things behind, especially not the mess that was strewn across the table. Ink was splashed all over her tight neat handwriting the bottle still on its side, dripping. James picked up the ink bottle, whispering "Tergeo" with a flick of his wand to make the spilled ink vanish.

He gathered the papers on the ground into a loose pile, setting them on the desk. Still not seeing any sight of Lily, James was about to head back to bed when a worn envelope caught his eye. It was addressed to a Petunia Evans.

'Lily's sister?' James recalled Lily's words earlier and tried to surpress his disgust for the letter's intended recipient. Why would Lily write to someone who blamed her for her parents' deaths?

His curiosity finally got the better of him and he unfolded the letter.

_Dear Petunia,_

_I know that you blame me for what happened to Mum and Daddy. You don't have to. I blame myself. If I had declined my head girl position, if I had come home when I realized that Voldemort was targeting Muggleborns and their families, if I had declined that first owl's invitation to study at Hogwarts . . . so many what ifs. If only I had a second chance to set things right . . . but I don't._

_Petty . . . you're my only family now and I'm yours, too. I'm graduating in a few months and maybe we can get a flat? Start over as sisters should. I need you right now and I know that deep down you need me now._

_It's what our parents would have wanted. Please, please consider it. _

_With all my love,_

_Lily_

Scrawled underneath Lily's tight script were only a few words. "Leave me alone, freak, before you kill me, too."

James slipped the letter back into its envelope, anger and guilt mixing together. It was obviously well read by Lily although he couldn't imagine her showing it to anyone else. He wasn't sure whether he was more angry at her evil witch of a sister or at Lily for believing such things to be true.

One thing was certain. Wherever Lily was, she shouldn't be alone. She wasn't thinking very clearly and James was afraid she may do something rash on her own.

He rifled through his bag for the Map. Finding it, he quickly whispered "I solemnly swear I am up to no good" half laughing at himself for whispering in the empty common room.

A quick glance showed him that Lily was not in her room or even in Gryffindor tower. A further search proved her not to be anywhere in the castle, but rather on the grounds. And she was not alone. Right next to the lake was a dot labeled Lily Evans. And right next to that dot, growing closer with every moment was a dot labeled Lucius Malfoy. James didn't think. He just ran.

Lily stared at the water. It was a calm night and the lake's surface was completely smooth, unbroken dark silk. For the first time in a long time, Lily just sat wholly without thought. Just there.

"A little late for a swim?" A voice drawled from behind her. One that was all too familiar.

"Malfoy!" Lily jumped up, searching frantically for her wand and cursing herself for being caught so off guard. It was late, she was alone and she was outside the castle walls. It was a dangerous thing to do even at a less dangerous time.

"Miss Evans," he replied, nodding stiffly. "Looking for this?" he asked, holding her wand out to her.

Lily took it from him gingerly and then stepped back quickly, almost into the lake in her haste to get away from him.

He laughed, a loud barking laugh. It was similar to Sirius's but without any of the warmth. "Why Miss Evans, I would almost say you were afraid of me? Aren't alumni allowed to visit their alma mater time and again?"

Lily narrowed her eyes at the man who had bullied her from the moment she had stepped through the barrier at Nine and Three Quarters her first year. "You graduated two years ago. And it's a little late for a tour of your old stomping grounds."

"Touché," he remarked. "But I seem to recall that this time of night was just a bit past curfew." He let his eyes trail down Lily's figure, stopping at her chest.

Indignant she folded her arms in front of herself protectively. He chuckled slightly. "I was merely admiring your badge, Miss Evans, not your other . . . assets." No matter the vocabulary, Lucius Malfoy could make it _sound_ dirty. "Head Girl it seems. Your parents must be so proud."

Lily drew her breath in sharply and relaxed her arms to her sides. She pinched the outside of her thigh tightly, using the pain to keep the tears away. She would _not_ cry in front of this bastard.

Lucius mock gasped. "Oh, dear, I'd forgotten. They _were_ so proud isn't that right?" When Lily didn't respond he continued. "I'm so sorry . . ."

"_Don't you dare say you're sorry_ _for my loss_," Lily bit out through her clenched teeth.

Lucius looked surprised. "I wouldn't say any such thing." He dropped the smile. "You're a smart girl, Evans, I won't insult you by insinuating otherwise. Believe it or not, I came her looking for you. I want to help you."

This time it was Lily's turn to laugh, a bitter sound that didn't suit her. "Help me? Please."

"I'm just sorry I didn't come sooner and spare you all this . . ." he waved an arm in her general direction taking in her tear soaked face and dishevled clothing.

So much for not insulting me, Lily thought. "You have two minutes to explain yourself, Malfoy."

"Or what?" he sneered. "You'll scream? Hex me with a school girl curse? I hate to point out the obvious, but you'll listen as long as I want you to."

Lily cursed herself once again for her common room panic attack. It was unwise to go anywhere by yourself in _daylight_ these days, let alone after midnight. And if she had thought that being a muggleborn Head Girl hadn't made her a specific target, her parents murders had eliminated that possibility. She couldn't take a step back without falling into the lake and between the Giant Squid and Malfoy she'd take her chances with the blond one – she could barely swim. Still, she was wholly unprepared physically and emotionally to duel someone who had studied the Dark Arts as extensively as Malfoy had.

She had one chance and she took it, dropping her head and left shoulder before changing directions and attempting to sprint to the castle on Malfoy's right. Unfortunately, his reflexes were as fast as when he had played quidditch for Slytherin and he caught her left forearm easily.

"Now, Miss Evans, I wasn't done talking to you," Malfoy hissed, gripping her arm painfully before throwing her back towards the lake.

Lily hissed as she fell backwards, unable to catch herself and landing on her hip. "You said you were here to help me. Let me go back to the castle," she bargained.

"The assistance of escorting a mudblood was _not_ what I had in mind," he muttered, reaching into his cloak and throwing something shiny towards her.

Lily flinched, instinctively holding up her arm to protect her face. At Malfoy's cruel laugh she managed to lower her hand and look at the object lying next to her.

It appeared to be a golden pocket watch of some kind, although there were no numbers on the clock face. "What is it?" Lily asked afraid to touch it.

"It's a gift. A second chance if you will," Malfoy explained, seemingly bored of the conversation. "It is almost like a time-turner . . . a portkey through time if you will."

Lily's heart immediately started beating heavily. If she could go back in time . . . she could get them out of the house. She could warn them. Just reach out and take it and she could have her parents back.

Malfoy must have seen her fingers twitch and laughed again. "It's a peculiar charm however. You can't go back to a set moment."

Lily's heart sank at his words, cursing herself for getting her hopes up. He was one of the bad guys. He probably had been there when her parents were killed. What was she doing trusting him?

"You go back to a decision. Any choice in your life that you made and you regret . . . you can take back . . . just with three turns of the dial," he explained, taping the small dial on the top of the clock that would wind it. "Any choices you feel responsible for, Miss Evans?" he whispered.

Lily reached out hesitantly and took the pocket watch. The what ifs she had written Petunia about that had seemed so fanciful were now within her grasp, quite literally if Lucius could be trusted. She could save them. She could have her parents back in seconds. Just three turns.

She looked up at Malfoy suspiciously. "What's the catch?" she asked.

"You don't trust me then?" Malfoy asked, pretending to be hurt. "Fine. Choose not to come to Hogwarts."

"What?"

"If you use that clock to change any other decision, I assure you I will hunt down your parents and kill them. Then your sister, then your friends and finally end your own miserable existence," he hissed, taking a step closer to her. "I _will_ know in the alternate future. Not only will you still be a target . . . you will be a target with a valuable Malfoy heirloom."

Lily suppressed a shudder at the thought that she was touching something handed down for years among Lucius family. "And if I choose to have ignored my Hogwarts letter?"

"You and your family live in ignorant peace from this war," he offered.

Lily raised an eyebrow suspiciously and he elaborated. "It shouldn't be so surprising, Miss Evans. We don't want _your kind_ in our world. Whether you die or leave of your own choosing matters not to me, so long as you _leave_. So what will it be?"

Lily gulped as she stared at the watch in her hands. It shouldn't even be a consideration. Her parents' lives were at stake. She could get them back. But was she willing to sacrifice the life she had made for herself? Was magic a part of her she was willing to sacrifice? Could she sacrifice her friends? Glynis, Adelaide . . . James?

"Will I remember?" she asked softly.

"Perhaps in dreams, but no, not if you choose not to. After all, magic will be just a rabbit out of a hat and dreams will just be idle fancies of your subconscious again. Really, life will be much simpler," Malfoy looked bored. "Miss Evans, if you are not interested, I have many other Mudbloods who will be. We chose you . . . now is the time for your choice – again. A second chance."

A second chance. Wasn't she just begging for that very thing in her letter just a week ago? She _knew_ she shouldn't trust Malfoy, but if there was even a chance of getting her parents back, didn't she need to risk it?

"Thank you," she whispered, so softly that she wasn't sure Malfoy heard her as she turned the dial once, concentrating her thoughts on the moment she got her Hogwarts letter. _I wish I had said 'no.'_

On the second twist, Lily felt her head start to spin. _I wish I had said 'no.'_

"LILY!" she heard a familiar voice scream from the castle. She whipped her head up to see James running at her.

"Stupid boy!" Lucius swore, drawing his wand. "The choice is yours _Lily_. Leave this world or he does!"

Taking a deep breath, Lily turned the dial a third and final time. _I wish I had said 'no.'_ Everything was spinning now and Lily felt herself losing consciousness slowly. Why had she trusted Malfoy? She had every reason not to, but the hope of getting her parents back had been to strong. Just before she blacked out she felt arms cradling her gently and heard his voice whispering her name. "Lily, don't leave me . . ."

"James . . ."


	2. Ch 1 Boyfriend?

**A/N: Well, I've never before had _no_ reviews on a chapter. I hope someone out there is reading. Even if you hated it, please let me know how to improve upon it. And as I am American, if you are British and would like to help me getting those small details about cultural differences right (which I would very much like to), please send me a PM and we can go from there? Thanks in advance!**

"Lily, don't leave me . . ."

"James . . ." Lily whispered, thrashing back and forth.

"Lily! Lily wake up," a voice called out to her.

Her hand connected with something solid and she felt herself coming out of the black haze. "What?" she asked confused as the shapes in front of her materialized. Lily sat up quickly in surprise. She was no longer outside along the shore of Hogwarts lake, but instead was in a small, lavender room. Her bedroom, to be exact. Looking down, Lily found herself in her own bed. She felt a warm hand brush her hair back from her forehead and found herself staring into her mother's concerned embrace.

"Mom!" Lily threw herself into her mother's embrace, sobbing. She pulled away once, running her hands down the side of her mother's face, making sure that it was really her and not some cruel trick, before hugging her even tighter than before. She was afraid if she let go she would wake up and it would all be a dream.

"Lily, darling, whatever is the matter?" her mother asked, worry evident in her voice. "It was only a dream. You're safe, now."

Lily smiled into her mum's hair, knowing that she could be saying the exact same thing. "And Daddy?" she whispered, wanting to her it said out loud.

"Will kill us if we wake him," Mrs. Evans joked before looking down at her elder daughter sensing perhaps she needed reassurance. "He's asleep down the hall. Would you like to see for yourself?"

Lily smiled shyly. "I'll just see him in the morning."

"Would you like to talk about your dream darling?" Mrs. Evans asked, hesitantly. Lily could still see the concern etched in her face.

"No!" Lily shouted, before lowering her voice. "No. But Mum . . . I love you, okay? Even if I don't always tell you."

Mrs. Evans smiled. "I love you, too." She pulled away, tucking Lily's blankets around her and giving her a kiss on her cheek. "Now get some sleep. Tomorrow's a big day . . . first day of the Christmas holidays and you know what that means!"

Lily didn't know, but she felt her eyes closing before she could ask and she was lost to dreamless sleep.

"Lily!" Lily turned her head slightly and smiled as she heard her mum's voice call up the stairs. For some reason, she felt comforted just hearing the familiar sound. She couldn't remember much of last night's dream, just bits of it. There had been a castle and a frightening man and a boy . . . but mostly she had felt a deep, overpowering sense of loss and regret.

The door opened suddenly and Petunia poked her head in. "What are you wearing, freak?" she asked wrinkling her nose in distaste. Lily felt her stomach clench at the unkind, yet somehow familiar insult. Laughing suddenly, her younger sister bounded onto the foot of her bed. "Just kidding. But really what _are_ you wearing?"

Lily looked down and realized she was wearing the most unusual pajamas she had ever seen. Long and black they were almost like a set of graduation robes. "I have _no_ idea," Lily murmured, trying to place where she had gotten such a garment. They felt comfortable and familiar and fit her as if they were made for her. Yet Lily couldn't for the life of her remember purchasing such a strange article of clothing.

"Well, change quickly. Mom's been calling you for ages. You know that today is the first day of the Christmas holidays," Petunia continued, leaving Lily's bed in order to explore the make up set up on her vanity.

"So everyone is so quick to remind me. Yay! Let's get ready for Father Christmas!" Lily snorted. "Seriously what's the big deal?"

Petunia turned around to face her. "Does that mean you finally dumped that creepy loser?"

"Pet, I have no idea what you are talking about," Lily admitted, walking over to her closet to try and change out of her weird night clothes. "But stay away from my favorite lip gloss!"

Petunia, pouted, pulling the pink tube out of her pocket and replacing it on the dresser. "Fine. Don't tell me anything. But don't expect me to keep your secrets the next time I find him doing something weird, like talking in the fireplace or keeping sticks in his pockets!" Petunia stomped into the hallway, her dramatic exit somewhat lessoned by the fact that she crashed into Mrs. Evans who was just entering the room.

Lily felt warm all over when she saw her mother, as if it was the first time after a long absence. She knew that was a silly feeling, hadn't they had a midnight conversation just last night? And they must have seen each other yesterday as well although Lily was finding the details to be a little fuzzy. She must need a cup of tea.

"Lily! I've been calling you forever. Why are you still in your . . . dear goodness, Lily, what _are_ you wearing?" Mrs. Evans asked, staring at the floor length black robes in dismay.

Lily shrugged, which seemed to be enough of an answer for her mother who strode over to the closet and pulled out a red jumper.

"Now, Lily, really, yesterday you were so excited at the thought of seeing him again and now, you're acting as if you had all the time in the world," Mrs. Evans continued setting out things for Lily to wear. "I know you want to look your best, but I hardly think he's forgotten what you look like while away this term."

"Mum?" Lily asked. "What are you talking about?"

Mrs. Evans stopped her flutterings to look more closely at Lily. "Are you sure you're alright dear? I had thought it was just a bad dream, but maybe you're coming down with something?"

Lily swatted her mother's hand away from her forehead where she was trying to see if Lily was running a fever. The last thing Lily needed on top of this giant headache was her mother . . . mothering her for lack of a better term. "I'm fine, mum, just a little disoriented from my nightmare."

"Are you sure you don't want to-" Mrs. Evans started.

"Mum! I don't want to talk about it," Lily snapped frustrated. She amended her tone slightly seeing her mother's face fall. "Mum, it's really not anything I want to relive by discussing it. I can hardly remember details as it is. Now I'm going to shower and get ready for my . . . mystery guest?"

"Oh Lily, please hurry and stop joking," Mrs. Evans said, shooing Lily towards the bathroom door. "After all, you don't want to leave your boyfriend alone with your father too long while they wait for you."

Lily nodded in agreement, staring down at a shiny pin that was affixed to her robes. The letters _HG _were engraved on the front. _How strange._ It wasn't until she had started the water and stepped in that her mother's words sank in . . . _boyfriend_?

All too soon, Lily had pulled on the snug red jumper and jeans and was downstairs waiting for her boyfriend to arrive, fixing a cup of tea in the kitchen. She was starting to think that maybe her mother was right and she was ill because she had no memories of _having _a boyfriend. She remembered a summer fling with a boy named David while on holiday at Brighton when she was 15 and she had vague memories of being asked out before, although the details were a little sketchy and confusing – seriously what did a broom have to do with going on a ride? But she hardly thought either counted as a boyfriend.

It wasn't the only thing that Lily was having trouble remembering. Sure, she had been able to find things in her room like her brush, but other things seemed wholly foreign or out of place. Her text books were piled high on her desk, not surprising considering that Lily had always been a great student, but she couldn't remember having seen any of the books before.

She had asked her mother about it and been told she had great marks, preparing for the baccalaureate and university before going on to med school. It _sounded_ right, but it felt . . . odd. Lily knew she wanted to heal people but somehow doctor felt foreign, like it was the right idea, but the right word was just beyond her reach.

It was the same all through the house, a sort of strange half awareness. She _knew_ things; she just had no memories of how she knew them. It was getting to be more than a little frustrating, almost as if there was a giant block throughout her school years.

"Mum! There's been another tornado in Surrey!" Petunia shouted from the sitting room.

Clutching her tea she made her way into the sitting room where Petunia and her father were watching the news. She took a moment to take in her dad's strong profile. Reading the newspaper while watching the news was something that was just so him, that it brought tears to her eyes for some unknown reason. She was just so happy to see him, although she knew she must have seen him only yesterday.

Lily shook her head, trying to clear it of the fog. What was wrong with her?

"Strange weather we're having these days, eh, Lil?" her dad asked, seeing her standing in the doorway.

"Yeah . . ." she agreed, unable to elaborate further with no clear memories of the last few days.

"Daddy, you don't think the wolves will come here, do you?" Petunia asked, saving Lily from having to elaborate. The news reporter had switched to a series of deaths involving a pack of stray wolves in the Northern forests.

"I think it's quite enough of the news, is what I think," Mr. Evans said, switching off the TV. "Don't believe everything you hear, Pet. Between that man in Scotland saying he saw a giant and the incidents that the fire down in London was caused by a _dragon_ I'd say the whole world has lost its mind. Next thing you know you'll have people selling magic wands to protect yourself."

Lily smiled, but couldn't shake the thought that the idea was not as ridiculous as her father had made it out to be.

"So there's really no magic then Daddy?" Petunia asked reaching for his hand.

"I didn't say that!" her father asked with a deep chuckle. "How else does Father Christmas manage to visit every good little girl in the world's house in one night?"

"_Daddy_!" Petunia rolled her eyes. "I'm far too grown up to believe in Father Christmas."

"Too grown up? Help me out here, Lil," Mr. Evans appealed to Lily, his eyes twinkling.

"I'm older than you, Pet, and I _believe_ in Father Christmas," Lily smiled finding it to be completely true. She shook her head again. "Besides, if you don't believe in Father Christmas, he doesn't have to bring you anything."

"Right-o, Lily," Mr. Evans smiled.

With a big hmph, Petunia flounced out of the room.

Lily sipped her tea contentedly as her dad joined her on the couch, retrieving his newspaper along the way. "All in all, some strange things happening in the world today. Makes me glad we're all here safe at home," he admitted squeezing her hand tightly.

Lily found herself choked up again, for reasons she couldn't explain. _'I'm sorry to tell you this, Miss Evans . . .' _a voice started to whisper in her memory, but it was interrupted as the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Petunia called out, racing down the stairs, her earlier tiff forgotten.

"You might want to stop her," Mr. Evans remarked, raising his glance above the sports section to peer at Lily. She stared at him blankly for a moment. "Rescue the young man and all," he continued.

Right. Her boyfriend.

Lily untangled herself from the couch and made her way to the doorway hesitantly, unsure of what – or who – she'd find there.

"It's for you," Petunia said, pushing back from the door, looking at her sister with disgust.

Standing in the doorway, looking not at all slighted by his harsh reception, was a familiar boy. Lily sighed in relief as she ran forward and hugged her oldest friend. "Severus!"

He hugged her back, breathing in her scent as his face was buried in her red hair. "I've missed you, Lily."

Then he pulled back slightly, kissing her full on the lips. Lily spluttered, pushing him away from her. "What are you doing?"

Severus looked confused. "Did I do something wrong? Did you not get my letters? The ow- er, the post is sometimes difficult from my school . . ." he trailed off looking down at the ground and Lily realized that _Severus_ was the boyfriend her family had been alluding to.

Feeling even more confused, Lily tried to comfort him. "No, it's not that . . . it's just . . . we haven't been dating long?"

It was more of a question than a statement as Lily tried to figure out why she hadn't known that they were dating at all.

Severus, though, seemed to take it in stride, reaching for her hand. "Lily, I waited six years to work up the courage to ask you out. We'll take it as slowly as you want."

Holding his hand, Lily seemed to relax a bit. It felt right to have his hand in hers and she _knew_ Severus himself. She remembered him from the playground, remembered his house down by the mill and their long talks in the woods near their house.

"Why don't we go out to lunch? Catch up," Lily suggested, trying to get away from her house before she gave her mother or herself any more cause for alarm.

Severus quickly agreed.

"I'll just summon my coat," Lily murmured, turning toward the stairs.

"Summon?" Severus asked, looking at Lily strangely.

"Get," Lily amended, blushing. "Let me get my coat."

Lily rushed up the stairs, trying to keep her flushed cheeks from showing her embarrassment. It wasn't just the odd use of the word that had her mortified. In a series of strange events this morning it was by no means the strangest. No, what was far more embarrassing was the way that her right hand had involuntarily made a swishing movement, almost . . . it sounded too silly to even think,but . . . almost as if she was _commanding_ the coat to come to her.


	3. Ch 2 Adventures in London

**A/N: thank you to my anonymous reviewer and to coupdetats for helping me revise my summary. shrugs I like this chapter loads more so perhaps it will help interest people? **

**Again I make a plea - if you are from England, I would very much like to run chapters by someone who knows British English as opposed to my American English? Please PM me if you are interested so I can send you my e-mail! Thanks in advance.**

"Here we are," Severus said, opening the door to a trendy café in the middle of London. He had surprised her by taking her not around the neighborhood but straight to the train station. He had deflected all questions until they were on the train, when he admitted that he had already told her parents he was planning on taking her into London to see the Christmas lights in the West End. It was undeniably sweet and for a moment Lily had felt at peace. Unfortunately, it wasn't a feeling that stayed long.

"Thank you," Lily murmured as she stepped inside. She took off her gloves as she tried to decide what to order. She had imagined going to a local chippie and felt quite out of place as she tried to decipher the menu.

Truth be told, she had felt out of place all day. After she had gotten over the initial surprise of the outing, the conversation on the train was more than a little awkward. It had a bit to do with her foggy memories, but also quite a bit to do with Severus being evasive. He made general remarks about school without any details and seemed keen to switch the conversation towards Lily at every moment. Had Lily been able to remember well enough to answer any of his questions, she would have thought he was just being kind and attentive. In fact, Lily couldn't help but wonder if he had ever told her anything of substance regarding his schooling, and she had been too caught up in herself to notice before now.

Lily resolved to change that fact as they sat at a small table in the window. She had ordered just a salad and iced tea and then wandered outside to let Severus deal with the details.

She fiddled with the sugar packets while watching as the Christmas shoppers '_rushed home with their treasures'. _She couldn't help but compare the scene to a Christmas carol as she saw bundled up children on their way to see Father Christmas stopping to point in every snow-filled Christmas display. Across the street a young woman tried in vain to avoid the grey slush on the sidewalk in her trendy boots, oblivious to the stares of two young men smoking outside. It was calming . . . ordinary.

Across the street one of the young men seemed to sense Lily's gaze. His grey eyes met hers and Lily was instantly struck by how attractive he was. He was young – far too young to be smoking, but he looked much older than his years. Something about his face, she decided, still openly staring. He looked . . . sad. The young man winked and Lily blushed, looking away, chiding herself on staring for too long. Still blushing she looked up to see the man and his friend head into a small coffee shop, thankfully. What would her mother say about her staring at strange men? What would Severus say?

As if in response to this unspoken query, Severus arrived with two iced teas and a plastic square indicating they were order number 27. "Let me help you with that," Lily blushed again, standing to help her friend.

"I've got it," Severus said, shaking his long hair out of his face. Lily took the moment to look at him. His black hair was long, nearly as long as the boy outside's had been, but much limper. Severus overall had the look of someone who cared not for his appearance, which Lily knew to be mostly true. It was what was on the inside that counted, he had told her many times, and while Lily agreed, in principle, she didn't see the harm in making herself slightly more beautiful on the outside. His clothes were technically perfect, a polo shirt and jeans, but they were stiffly fashionable, as if unused to being worn. Lily wondered if he had gotten a new outfit just to take her to London today and felt guilty. Not only was she underdressed for her date, there was the whole problem of not being able to remember actually agreeing to date the boy across from her. Add being downright flirtatious to boys across the street, and Lily vowed doubly to get to know Severus' school life better.

"Cheers," he said, lifting his iced tea to hers and clinking softly.

"To what?" Lily asked, smiling.

"To being on holiday," Severus looked down for a moment before meeting her eyes, nervously, "with you."

Lily swallowed another round of guilt with her iced tea. "So, tell me, what is your best class . . . I know you said before that your school is untraditional, but some things surely must be universal!"

"Well, I despise history, as you well know," he started. "But I do well in my other subjects. Not so well, as you, I hear Medical School is nearly in the bag?"

Lily lowered her gaze modestly. "There's still University to get through. A lot of things can change." Realizing he was once again deflecting she tried again. "Sev, I know you're brilliant though. Aren't you a prefect?"

Severus grimaced slightly. "I was. I resigned at the start of this school year."

"Resigned? Whatever happened?" Lily asked, concerned.

"I would rather not talk about it." To anyone else, Severus' face looked almost menacing and would brook no argument. But Lily had never been one to give up.

"Well, we've talked about me all trip. So either you start opening up or it's going to be a very quiet lunch," Lily pronounced.

For a while, Lily was convinced that Severus really was the more stubborn of the two. The server brought her salad and Severus' lunch, fish and chips, Lily noticed with a repressed smile, and they both ate in silence. The only words spoken were the quiet thank you that Lily whispered to the server who refilled her glass of tea.

"I had hopes of becoming Head Boy," Severus finally admitted, his voice so quiet that Lily had to strain to hear him. "I know that I'm in the top five in all my classes, the dreaded history of m- well, history included."

"And you resigned in disappointment?" Lily's voice was tinged with disappointment itself, in spite of her trying to keep neutral.

"Of course not," Severus hissed. She shot him a look, and he continued, apologizing. "I'm sorry, but this is not the easiest tale to tell. The boy that was chosen to be Head Boy is completely unfit. He is an arrogant bully who gives no thought to anyone but himself. He is brilliant, I won't deny him that, but he is also reckless and dangerous. In fact, his friends and he would be the first to admit these facts; boast about them even. His group call themselves 'The Marauders.'"

"Like a pirate?" Lily asked, confused as to the reference.

"Exactly. Someone who causes violent attacks and pillages after a war. It's not an unfitting term, but I can't say anyone who is civilized would choose to take the name as a point of pride," Severus elaborated with a sneer.

"They _want_ to be known as villains?" Lily asked incredulously. "But who in their right mind would make someone like that in charge of a school?"

"Who indeed?" Severus muttered. "In defense of my Headmaster, although ultimately mistaken, I believe he thought that the responsibility would be a maturing force on Potter."

"Potter?" Lily felt a tingle at the name, like it should be something she knew although she couldn't place how she would know a boy who went to Severus' boarding school.

"The Head Boy's name is Potter. James Potter to be exact." Severus paused before continuing. "My Headmaster can be naïve at times. Believes in the good in everyone," Severus reached across the table to catch Lily's hand momentarily. "Reminds me of someone else I know."

Lily chuckled nervously, trying to free her hand without appearing rude. "Really, Severus, you give me too much credit. I don't see the good in everyone. Petunia, for one, can be downright evil at times."

"At times," Severus repeated, nodding. His mind seemed to have drifted from their original topic and Lily wasn't sure how to get him back on track. "But if I told you there were some people that had no good in them at any time? Someone who would kill you just because you were different? Less worthy?"

Severus was staring out the window now, his fingers tightening against hers almost involuntarily.

"Sev," Lily whispered, pulling her hand out of his grip.

He seemed to come back and realize what he had done. "Lily . . . I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's fine," Lily smiled, rubbing her squished hand gently under the table. Severus went back to staring out the window and Lily regretted ever bringing it up. She couldn't let it go, though, not without knowing more about this boy who was evil enough to cause such worry on her best friend's face.

Softly, she continued. "And this Potter is . . . irredeemably evil? Like what you said before?"

"Potter?" Severus looked almost surprised at the name. "No. Potter is arrogant and reckless, but I don't think I would go so far as evil. At least not irredeemably."

"But you said?" Lily couldn't help be confused, convinced that he was withholding something from her, something big.

"However, the Head responsibilities were not nearly as influencing on Potter as the Head Girl. And I wouldn't hesitate to label her as evil – the entire family is," Severus elaborated, still choosing his words carefully, as if afraid to give away too much. "I don't believe my Headmaster had much of a choice in the matter, in appointing Black. Her father's on the board of governors and not much used to being refused. I rather think that Dumbledore – my Headmaster that is – rather thought that Potter would influence her. Instead it has been the other way around. With near disastrous results. To continue to work as a prefect under their supervision would have been more than unbearable. So I resigned."

"Severus, was that wise?" Lily asked. "If they are as bad as you think they are, it would be better to stay in a position of power, to stand up to them and balance out their abuse! You're leaving the rest of the student body at their mercy."

Severus smiled a grim smile. "And be victim to more bullying from the Marauders? I think not. Lily, those that stand up to them are the first to be eliminated."

"And those that are too cowardly to fight allow the rest of the school to suffer!" Lily wasn't sure where her conviction was coming from but she felt it strongly. She somehow sensed that this debate had gone far beyond a school's student leadership and couldn't quite figure out how to get it back.

Severus seemed to agree with her as he smiled. "Fair enough, Lily, we shall have to agree to disagree. I suppose the school's winter decorations might have been a little sub par without me, and I will say that there has been appalling abuse of hall passes in recent weeks, but other than that I think the school will survive under Potter's tutelage for a year. We do have a competent faculty, you know."

Lily, embarrassed by how heated she had argued for something as ridiculous as glorified hall monitors, quickly agreed. "I didn't mean to imply otherwise, you know – "

Severus cut off her apology. "No offense taken. But we should get going. The sunset's at four and it is half after two already. If we want to catch the tree in Trafalgar Square and be home by supper we should head out."

Lily nodded, allowing Severus to help her with her coat. She had finally gotten him to open up slightly and while it saddened her to hear how he was treated by some of his classmates, she was glad he finally trusted her with school details. She had a feeling there was more to it, but she knew Severus well enough to know when to push and when to let things be. Although, for the first time, Lily was grateful she hadn't gone away to boarding school. It sounded so strict and different from her comfortable neighborhood school. Especially if those in charge of enforcing the rules were those most likely to break them.

"Snape, is that you?" They had just exited the café when she heard someone calling out from behind them. Severus closed his eyes as if in pain before gripping Lily's forearm tightly and walking quickly in the opposite direction.

"Sev, that person was calling out to you," Lily pointed out.

As if he had heard her, the man called again, louder. "Severus!"

Still, Severus continued to walk quickly away from the voice. Lily was tired of being manhandled, tired of the secrets earlier and generally sick of not knowing what was going on. She pulled away from Severus and turned to face the approaching man. Severus had no choice but to follow her lead.

The man approaching was tall and had long hair so blond it was almost white. He wore a long black cloak that seemed strangely old fashioned. Still, Lily supposed it looked warm enough. "Severus," the blue eyed man spoke, as he caught up to them. "I thought at first you didn't hear me, but now I see you were more pleasantly occupied."

"Lucius Malfoy at your service, Miss?" he introduced himself, catching Lily's hand and raising it to his lips for a quick kiss. Rather than being charmed by the gesture, Lily worked hard to suppress a shudder of revulsion. The man in front of her seemed completely refined and charming, but also incredibly chilling. Lily berated her temper for not allowing her to follow Severus' lead and getting away when they could have.

Lily snatched her hand back as quickly as could be considered polite. "Lily Evans," she finished for him.

"Evans . . . I'm afraid I don't know that surname, are you from London?" Lucius said, appearing deep in thought.

"I'm in Surrey. Little Whinging," she clarified. Really, this man was too much, from his old fashioned manners to his attitude. Did he claim to know every person in the greater London area?

"Ahh . . ." Lucius said, in a tone that suggested he was beginning to place everything together. A smug look replaced his smile and if Lily thought he looked chilling before, now he looked downright terrifying. "That delightful little Muggle village near Severus' home. And I take it you are a delightful little muggle to amuse young Severus?"

Lily wasn't sure what this man meant by muggle, but she doubted it was anything complementary, based on his current expression.

"Leave the girl alone," Severus spoke for the first time. Lily shot him a smile of gratitude before her face fell at his next words. "She's unimportant. If you have things to discuss, it should be in private."

"Unimportant?" Lucius repeated, looking carefully at Lily before turning back to Severus. "If that's the case, why don't we just take care of her?"

Lily felt sickened as she imagined what he could mean by that. She started to protest, before a glare from Severus told her to stay quiet.

"And cause a scene? Create a news story? If you must, do so, but I don't think she's worth it." Severus turned Lucius back towards the café they had just exited, before pausing as if he had just remembered Lily. "Feel free to wander about. I'll find you when I'm finished."

Before Lily had a chance to yell at him the way she felt he deserved he had disappeared into the small café and slammed the door in her face. Lily couldn't remember agreeing to date him before this and she was bloody well sure she wasn't going to agree to it ever again, if this is what she was in for!

Of all the rude things to say . . . _unimportant_? What happened to waiting six years for her? Blown with a single rude conversation with a . . . friend? How exactly did Severus know this Malfoy character? Obviously well enough to blow her off for him. She was so mad she could just chuck something right at his smug head.

Still . . . Lily knew Severus and couldn't believe he would have done something so out of character without a reason. She supposed she would listen to his explanation. After the acceptable amount of groveling and a gift of chocolate, she decided, observing a chocolate snow man in a store window.

In her fury, Lily hadn't realized that her steps had taken her in front of the coffee shop she had seen the men at earlier. She was cold and considering she had no idea how long Severus would take, it didn't seem unwise to grab a small cocoa at least. She stared at the sign advertising Magical Brew. It had a nifty graphic of a cup of coffee that seemed so realistic that Lily could have sworn she saw actual steam coming out of the sign. She looked around to see if anyone else was as amazed as she was, but no one else seemed to be looking at the sign. In fact, if Lily were honest . . . it seemed as if no one else seemed to notice the coffee shop at all. A small child skipped from looking at the chocolate snowmen on one side of it to the toy trains racing around the window on the other side. Which was to be expected of a small child, but the mother, too, seemed to just let her glance slide from one store to the other, completely skipping over the coffee shop as if it wasn't there.

Lily shook her head slightly. The run in with Malfoy had obviously shaken her more than she wanted to admit. Clearing her head of the thoughts, she headed inside.

The coffee shop she found there was unlike anyone she had ever seen before. The owners had obviously taken the 'Magical' theme and run with it as the condiment bar had crystal balls filled with sugar or honey and the creamer seemed to float and pour as if on its own. The decorations on the wall were of Merlin 'brewing' a potion that other witches sipped from coffee cups. The wall behind the counter was filled with a giant menu boasting tea warmed by dragons' breath and coffee ground by elves in Columbia. There were only a few patrons scattered about but mostly they wore thick cloaks like the one Severus' rude friend had on. She noticed the two boys she had seen earlier were sitting at a table near the counter, their coffee cups nearly empty.

"If you hear from him, let me know," the taller of the two was saying as she searched the menu for something warm, brushing his sandy hair back with one arm.

The dark haired one sighed, nodding. "I'm staying with his parents, till I finalize the price on the flat, so I'd be the first to know, but Remus . . . if he didn't come back for Christmas, he's not coming back at all. I think we've lost him."

The blond one, Remus, from the sound of it nodded somberly. "I know. I just . . . how did it happen so quickly, Sirius? Without us noticing? I mean, one minute he was James and the next minute she had him."

Lily felt guilty eavesdropping and moved away, approaching the counter.

"Can I help you?" a man asked bored.

"Yes, please. May I have some hot cocoa?" Lily ordered.

A grunt was her only answer, but he moved to get her a cup. Lily looked over to find that the handsome man was now alone. _Sirius_, his friend had called him, before blushing and averting her eyes anywhere else. She found herself instead staring at a newspaper that declared itself to be 'The Daily Prophet.' The headline read "Minister denies Ministry Involvement in Surrey Tornado" which made Lily chuckle slightly. Obviously the government wasn't involved in the weather, it hardly merited first page news. She looked to the picture below only to shriek and drop it almost immediately. It was impossible, really, but she could have sworn that she saw the picture in the paper _move_.

"You okay there?" the man asked, bringing her a steaming cup of cocoa.

"Fine, really," Lily murmured, embarrassed by her imaginings.

"Well, that'll be six sickles," the man said, moving towards the register.

"Excuse me?" Lily asked, confused.

"For your cocoa. The cost? Six sickles," He repeated, smiling slightly.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what you mean. I have some pounds here," Lily, fumbled with her coin purse trying to get out the correct change despite having no idea what it was.

"Pounds?" Now it was the man's turn to look incredulous, before narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "Are you a muggle or something? I thought our charms were updated to protect against this happening!"

"Why does everyone keep calling me that today?" Lily muttered. "Look, if you would just tell me what I owe . . ."

Lily trailed off as she glanced at the man in front of her, for instead of doing just that he had taken out what looked to be a long stick and was pointing it at her. He looked absolutely ridiculous with it, but in spite of it, Lily couldn't help but feel threatened by the menacing look on his face.

"Is there a problem, over here?" a voice interrupted.

Lily was about to complain about butting into other people's conversations when she found herself looking into the grey eyes of the young man from earlier. "Sirius," she remembered the other man had called him. She hadn't realized she had spoken out loud until his face clouded over in confusion.

"Do I know you?" he asked quietly.

A loud voice prevented her from answering. "Look, someone owes me six sickles. And after that I want _you_ to leave before I call in the Obliviators," the man shouted at them. It took Lily a minute to realize he was still pointing his stick at her. "We don't need your kind here with all the trouble these days."

Sirius took one look at the man and then looked over to Lily taking in the whole situation. He leaned forward to whisper in her ear quietly. "Play along, okay?"

"Did you try and pay with pounds again, love?" Sirius leaned over the counter and handed the man six small silver coins. "She thinks it's hilarious to watch everyone freak out," he whispered conspiratorially to the worker. "Darling, our next stop is Gringott's to change that money of yours before you play your joke on the wrong person. It's a dangerous time to play muggle!"

The man took the coins but seemed largely unconvinced of the story Sirius was selling, not that Lily blamed him. She herself started to object to the use of the unfamiliar insult again and insist that she wasn't _playing_ anything, when Sirius grabbed her hand tightly, moving her towards the door.

Lily allowed herself to be led towards the outside, but kept her eyes on the young worker. He still was pointing that stick at them. Lily felt a tingling that something big was about to happen; she could almost hear the tension crackle in the air. Just before they reached the door, her suspicions were proven correct as the young man swished the stick and shouted "_Stupefy!_"

Sirius swore and ducked attempting to pull Lily with him.

She couldn't explain why she did what she did next, it was an instinct and purely reflexive. Instead of ducking, she put out her hand as if to ward off the jet of light heading towards them. "_Protego!_" she shouted. A shimmering wall appeared in front of Lily and Sirius and absorbed the light flash.

"Let's go," Sirius said, tugging on her arm again. This time, Lily allowed Sirius to pull her from the coffee shop and down several streets, changing directions a few times before ducking into a small alley.

Lily leaned against the bricks behind her, trying to make sense of what had just happened. That man had attacked them with that stick and she had somehow stopped it.

"Thanks for that," Sirius said, catching his breath. "You seem to know my name, but I can't say I can return the favor."

"Lily," she murmured, afraid to give her last name after what had happened earlier. "I must admit I was eavesdropping a bit earlier." She blushed and looked down.

"No need to worry about that," Sirius smirked. "I know that I'm irresistible. It's not your fault." He paused mid-flirt as if remembering the earlier trouble. "Thank you, though, . . . that shield spell came in handy. I didn't even see you draw your wand. Guess everyone's on a short fuse these days with You Know Who running around."

Lily actually _didn't_ know who, but wasn't sure just how to say so. Sirius just seemed to exude joy and despite their acquaintance of about ten minutes, she wasn't uncomfortable in the slightest.

He laughed, a big barking sound that filled the small space. "And here I was thinking that I was saving a muggle, and in return you end up saving me."

"What does that word mean? Muggle?" Lily couldn't help but asking. The first question led to another until they flowed. "And why did that man attack us? What was that stick? Was it a wand? I don't have one, if that's what you thought. Why? What is going on?"

"Merlin, you mean to tell me you _are_ a Muggle?" Sirius stopped what he was doing to stare at her. "That's impossible. You had to have cast that shield charm . . . but how did you learn it? And wandless to boot? Don't you go to school? Hogwarts or Beauxbeatons?"

Hogwarts . . . the name was familiar, although why Lily couldn't imagine. She had an image though of a castle, near a big black lake.

"I'll have to tell Dumbledore about this," Lily heard Sirius mutter to himself.

She _knew_ that name, after all, it was one of the few things she had managed to get out of Severus earlier.

"Dumbledore? You mean, Headmaster Dumbledore?" she asked.

"So you _do_ go to Hogwarts," Sirius turned and Lily was frightened to see that he too now held a stick in one hand. "For a minute I was afraid I'd have to finish the job Chuck started at Magical Brew. Not that I'd do any muggle baiting, but I'd have to obliviate you!"

Lily moved father away from Sirius and his strange stick as she tried to explain. "No, I go to the local school. But my friend . . ."

Before she could say anything else there were footsteps. "LILY! Lily, where are you?" she heard Severus yell from some place nearby.

"Sev! Sev, I'm over here!" She shouted, relieved to be on familiar ground. After all, if Sirius and Severus went to the same school, Sev could explain what was going on.

Severus appeared at the face of the alley and Lily launched herself into his arms.

"Lily, you're trembling! What happened? I'm so sorry I had to leave you alone, but then I thought I saw you with . . ." Severus trailed off as he looked past his friend to the other boy in the alley.

"Lily, I want you to stay back," he whispered, pulling her behind him.

Confused, Lily looked around him, but all she saw was Sirius with his stick, now pointed straight at Severus.

"Snivelly! Oh, this day does get better!" Sirius laughed, but unlike before there was no warmth to it. "I was just looking for someone to have a spot of fun with and you show up, like a gift wrapped Christmas present come early."

"What did you do to her?" Severus demanded, ignoring his insults.

"You mean, Lily?" Sirius asked. Severus hissed at his casual use of her name and Sirius continued emboldened. "Why you should know that rescuing fair damsels from the likes of slimy evil doers is what I do best! In fact, I'm not sure how you know the young woman, but she just has to say the word and I will rescue her from your clutches as well."

"What is going on here?" Lily demanded, moving to Severus' side. "Severus, Sirius, you obviously know something I don't, so one of you better start explaining."

"Yes, Snivelly. Explain how someone as Slytherin as you ends up with such a pretty muggle throwing herself into your arms." If Lily was curious about the word before she was _dying_ to know what it meant now. "What would your Death Eater friends do if they saw you together? I can almost see Malfoy's face now . . ."

"Malfoy?" Lily stepped in between the two boys to better see their faces. "You mean, Lucius Malfoy?"

"So you did meet my charming cousin-in-law already?" Sirius smiled, a look that could only be described as evilly gleeful. "Tell me, Lils, was he thrilled to meet you?"

"Don't talk to her," Severus snarled at Sirius, pulling her back to his side almost roughly. "Don't even look at her."

Lily was tired of being spoken about instead of to. "Severus, you're hurting me, again" she hissed, pulling her arm out of his grasp. "And if you won't tell me the answers I want about what's been going on today, maybe I should take Sirius up on his rescue offer."

Sirius smirked, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, but he seemed content to just watch Severus fumble on his own.

"Lily, you don't mean that," Severus pleaded with her.

"Oh?" she asked, raising one eyebrow.

"I think Lils here has good taste, personally," Sirius replied. "Well, other than knowing you, but hey, it happens to the best of us." He shrugged. "Look at me!"

"Shut up, Black!" Severus roared.

Lily flinched, both at Severus' shout and memories of that name, the one Severus said was an evil family. _Someone who would kill you just because you were different. Less worthy_. Her action didn't escape either boy's notice. "Left that part of the introduction out did you? Lily, I'd like you to meet Sirius Black, best friend to James Potter, second in command of the _Marauders_."

Remembering his stories of the arrogant boys who terrorized Sev's school, Lily took a few steps back towards Severus and away from Sirius, whose eyes were flashing fire.

"I'm not like my family!" Sirius snarled.

"The apple can't fall _that _far from the tree, Black," Severus said. "But that's just my opinion. Lily, are you ready to go or would you like to take Sirius up on his _offer_?"

Lily took Severus' hand without so much as a backwards look.


	4. Ch 3 Sibling Rivalry

**A/N: Thank you for the comments, even those that criticize. While I admit that it's AU, I did quite a bit of research to see how exactly removing one domino might affect the rest of the HP world (think chaos theory) and then had a little fun with it. Thank you to Heiress for her help.**

Lily hadn't expected much from Severus in the way of answers. But she hadn't expected to be completely stonewalled.

Unsurprisingly, the two of them abandoned their Christmas sightseeing in favor of returning to Surrey after their bizarre encounters in London. The entire train ride home Severus had completely refused to answer her questions, all excepting one.

"Muggle is an insult at my school for people who do not attend," Severus finally offered after refusing to speak most of the way home.

"You have a name for people who _don't_ go to your school? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Lily scoffed. "It's not like your school is well known or prestigious or _worthy_ of such snobbery. I've never even heard of Hogwarts until today!"

Severus, covered her mouth quickly, glancing around as if to make sure no one had heard her rapidly rising voice. "That's not a word to throw about. There's a reason I never told you the name of my school."

"You mean, there is a reason you've _lied_ to me for six years, telling me you went to Fettes school?" Lily's eyes flashed, but her voice remained quiet, although no less fierce. "Is your school really in Scotland?"

Severus closed his eyes, telling Lily all she needed to know.

"So when you told me that you were heading to public boarding school . . . all that was what? A lie? What is the point in lying?" Lily hissed.

"Lily . . ." he started helplessly. She did nothing to help him out, instead waiting for his explanation with a glare that would freeze flames.

"My school is . . . different. It is very prestigious amongst a very select group of people. It's also very secretive and invitation only, which lends itself not only to its prestige, but also to the snobbery you saw today."

"So . . . the reason your friend didn't like me because I wasn't a member of his school? And I almost got thrown out of a coffee shop for it?" Lily mused going over the events of the day. "But that makes no sense? What about the stick that that man pointed at me. Sirius called it a wand?"

Severus smiled tightly. "And no other schools have strange aspects to their uniform? You've seen the tossers on our street with their Smeltings' sticks ready to trip anyone who gets in their way." He shrugged, trying to make it seem like she was making a big deal out of nothing. "Our school merely does so more . . . secretly."

"But Severus, you hated those Smeltings boys even more than I did!" Lily protested. "Why would you choose to go to such a school and become one of those stuck up arses?"

"Would you turn down a scholarship to get out my house?" he asked quietly.

Reminding Lily of his violently overbearing father and simpering mother had the added effect of stopping her questions. She felt unbelievably guilty for insulting him. She couldn't say she wouldn't have done the same to be out of that house if their situations were reversed.

"Lily . . . I'm not one of them. I won't ever be. But my school values it's privacy to the point where it takes drastic measures to ensure it," Severus looked nervous again as he reached across the train compartment for her hand. "Promise me you won't tell anyone what I've told you or what happened today. Try to forget it if you can. Don't even mention the name of my school again or the name you were called. It's dangerous."

"Dangerous . . ." Lily repeated. She pushed aside memories of the way Severus had treated her when his friend Malfoy showed up and tried to believe his pledge to not become one of them. She wasn't sure she believed in such a severe threat for something as minor as using a few secret words, but Severus' eyes looked desperate.

"I've told you the kind of classmates I have. I told you how they looked down upon those they thought to be less worthy . . . I wasn't kidding . . ." he was pleading now and it was a rather strange sight to see the proud and secretive boy looking so vulnerable. She recalled his words from earlier, told in that same urgent tone. _But if I told you there were some people that had no good in them at any time? Someone who would kill you just because you were different? Less worthy?_

She couldn't refuse him. Not after she had seen first hand what some of those people were capable of. It still didn't explain what had happened in that coffee shop with the lights. It didn't tell her what a sickle, a Slytherin, Gringotts or a Death Eater was or what it meant to obliviate someone or any of the other strange terms used today. Still revelations of secret schools with ominous procedures for maintaining said secrecy was enough to put a damper on her curiosity. For now.

"Okay," she agreed, slightly dissatisfied when she saw him sag into his seat in relief.

Acknowledging she had gotten all she could out of Severus, she turned to relax the rest of the trip home. However, it seemed instead it was her turn to be interrogated.

"How exactly did you find yourself alone with Sirius Black?" Severus asked suddenly. He tried desperately to look as if it was a casual question but Lily knew him better.

"I thought you said to 'try and forget it,'" Lily said with a smirk, trying not to let her hurt feelings show. She sighed, not wanting to fight anymore. It had been a long day and the lingering effects of last night's nightmare still weighed heavily on her mind. "He got me out of a sticky situation at a coffee shop that is apparently only for folks from your school," she finally admitted.

"How did you . . . you saw the coffee shop?" Severus asked, somewhat perplexed.

"Believe it or not, Sev, my eyesight is quite normal. Of course I saw the coffee shop," Lily replied annoyed. It seemed as if despite her best intentions she couldn't avoid another fight. "And considering the way you had abandoned me telling me I was – what was it? Unimportant? Well, I was looking for something to do until I was important enough to merit your attention."

"Lily, I didn't mean . . ." Severus started to explain, looking once again guilty, but the train conductor interrupted.

"Little Whinging stop!" was announced over the loud speaker.

"Don't bother coming to call tomorrow, _Severus_," Lily said, deliberately using his full name. "I'm sure you have more _important_ things to deal with this holiday. Wouldn't want to do anything else I'd have to completely forget."

There was a slight snow falling as Lily exited the station and for a moment she wished she had been less rash than to storm out on her own. Not for the first time, Lily wished there was some way you could will yourself to another place and arrive straight there with just a pop.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Her parents had been initially surprised to see her home so early, but Lily shrugged off their concerns with vague allusions to feeling unwell which seemed to do the trick. Her sister, however, was not so easily persuaded.

Lily had begged off after dinner family time in favor of retiring early when Petunia stopped her on the stairs.

"What really happened today in London?" her sister demanded of her.

Lily flashed to all the various events of the day, trying to find one innocuous enough to share with her older sister. Reflecting on everything she had seen she was hard pressed to find one _believable_, let alone harmless enough to avoid further questioning.

"Pet, nothing happened. I'm just tired," Lily finally gave up on finding a more accurate version of the truth.

"Did that boy try something?" Petunia asked softly, stepping closer to her sister as not to be overheard. "I've always thought he was an awful boy; I have no idea what you see in him. I know you think I'm overbearing, but I can help!"

"Sev! No! What, Petunia . . ." Lily was speechless. Severus had hurt her emotionally, by being secretive and dismissive, sure, but he most definitely hadn't tried anything like what Petunia was suggesting. In fact, he hadn't even tried _anything_ physical after Lily had pulled away from his kiss at the door in the morning. Other than manhandle her, she thought wryly rubbing her forearm.

"Fine! Don't trust me! Don't tell me anything!" Petunia shouted, mistaking Lily's hesitating for something else. "I'm your big sister, Lily, I'm supposed to watch out for you! And I hope you realize that and trust me or _someone_ before your weirdo boyfriend gets you seriously hurt!"

Petunia stormed away leaving Lily with a genuine headache, rather than the one she had made up to avoid her parents. While she resented Petunia's attempts to be the big sister inserting themselves into her already dramatic day, she couldn't help but acknowledge that this time, in regards to Severus, her sister may actually have a point.

Shoving this thought aside, she made her way to her bedroom, barely changing into her pajamas before falling into a mercifully dreamless sleep.

The next day dawned all too soon for Lily. She felt vaguely disoriented as she looked around her small bedroom. The events of the previous day came swimming to the forefront of her mind and Lily ducked under the covers as if to avoid them.

Unsurprisingly she was unsuccessful. She was disappointed to find that she also could not go back to sleep. Day two of the Christmas holidays and Lily was already bored. She vaguely wondered if she had purchased any Christmas presents for her family yet. She couldn't remember having done so, but then again, she didn't remember doing much of anything lately.

Grumbling, she reluctantly got out of bed and moved towards her closet. Sure enough, she had no gifts hidden behind the pale pink doll house she had gotten for her fourth birthday and refused to get rid of. Not because she still liked to play with dolls, of course. It was handy for hiding things behind.

Smiling a bit to herself as she righted a miniature chair that had fallen, Lily decided that today she must attempt to make a dent in shopping for her family.

With this plan in mind she was able successfully ignore the events of the previous day while going about the morning routine. She bounded down the stairs a short time later into the breakfast nook, giving her father a kiss as he read the morning paper. "Morning, Daddy!"

He merely grunted in response, but Lily saw the smile that lurked behind the pages of the Surrey Comet.

"Morning, Mum!" she called out sweeping into the kitchen. "Anything I can help with?" she asked, observing the chaos that surrounded everything.

"Thank you, Lily, dear, but I think we have it all under control," Mrs. Evans replied with a smile, looking up from the pancake griddle.

"We?" Lily asked momentarily confused.

Just then Petunia emerged from the pantry. "Mum, we don't seem to have any more . . ." Petunia paused as she took in Lily. "Oh. It's you."

Apparently, Petunia had not yet forgiven her sister for yesterday's slight on the stairs. Before Lily could attempt to apologize, Petunia continued.

"It's so nice of you to join us, Sleeping Beauty. I do hope your . . . headache was it? Is feeling better today!" Petunia's voice oozed with its fake sugary tone. "Why don't you go sit down in the breakfast nook and I'll bring you some Earl Grey tea, Little Sis? The caffeine can do wonders for a headache? Mum and I have this covered. And don't worry about the Christmas cookie baking either."

Lily's eyes narrowed as she thought back to the comment about Petunia being sometimes evil. The three Evans women had _always_ baked Christmas cookies together for their friends and neighbors and if Petunia thought she could take that away from her sister . . . "I'm feeling much better, thanks," she replied trying to refuse Petty's bait. "Mum, I think I'm going to go to the Centre and get some holiday shopping done today, if you don't need me then."

Petunia's face fell. The Centre was _the_ place to be seen on holiday, everyone fresh from break from University would be there. She couldn't ask to go now, not after telling Lily she would do Lily's share of the holiday baking in addition to her own.

Lily felt less satisfied than she would have thought at gaining the upper hand. She didn't _want_ to fight with her sister.

"Pet, why don't you come, too? Mum, we could do the cookies tomorrow right?" Lily asked, throwing Petunia a way out.

Petunia wrinkled her nose in distaste and for a moment, Lily was convinced she was going to refuse just because Lily had been the one to suggest it. "I couldn't!" Petunia began, before smiling slyly. "Although . . . I was going to tell you we don't have any more confectioner's sugar for the icing in the pantry, Mum. So perhaps we should get that today and bake the cookies tomorrow?"

"Don't be silly, Petunia, we don't need two of us to run to the market for more sugar. You go with Lily and have a great time," Mrs. Evans insisted, rolling her eyes at her daughter's bickering. It was like they didn't realize she could see right through them. "The three of us will have our baking day tomorrow."

"But Mum . . ." Petunia started to protest weakly.

Lily wasn't the only one tired of her sister's pretend martyrdom.

"Petunia, I'm going by myself and that's final! Now both of you, out of this kitchen before I burn your father's pancakes. One of us needs to work around here!" Mrs. Evans replied exasperatedly.

The two girls raced out of the kitchen as their mother shooed them good naturedly towards the door with a dish towel.

They stopped in the entry way giggling a bit, before Petunia seemed to realize she was mad at Lily and stopped, standing stiffly. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to call Marge and ask if she wants to come along."

Lily inwardly winced at the name of her least favorite of Petunia's friends. She knew that Pet didn't much care for Marge either. Petty just thought that her friend's older brother, Vernon was hot. Lily couldn't say she much cared for either Dursley sibling as both were unbearable know-it-alls and had disgusting table manners to boot, but she wouldn't say so to Petunia. It was a test.

"That's fine. Would she come here or would the three of us meet up at the Shopping Centre?" Lily asked, trying to sound casual.

"The three of us?" Petunia asked surprised. "You mean, you aren't bringing _that_ boy? Or Susan? Or Emily?"

Lily shrugged as Petunia named her best friends from primary school. Oddly, she didn't much care to see either of them, although the logical part of her brain _knew_ that they were best friends. For some reason the term best friends seemed to call to mind two girls who were nothing like the demure and docile Emily Winters and Susan Patterson. Lily couldn't explain how the girls from her dreams felt more real to her than her neighborhood friends, but it was just one of many things Lily was having trouble explaining lately. "I thought it would be fun to have a Sisters' Day?" Lily admitted, hoping to bridge the rift Severus had apparently caused. "But if you want to bring Marge, that's fine, too. I just feel like we haven't hung out for a while."

Petunia narrowed her eyes, tilting her head slightly to the left. It was a move that Lily herself used when trying to figure out a problem that was just beyond her grasp. "If this is just to win points with Mummy and Dad . . ." she started.

Lily cut her off, tired of the sibling rivalry games. "Look, Petunia, I want to go shopping with you and find Christmas presents for our parents and friends. But if you're going to spend all day questioning my motives you might as well stay home and play saint in the kitchen some more."

For a minute, Petunia said nothing and Lily was afraid she had been too harsh to keep the tentative truce she was so desperately trying for.

But then, Petunia was hugging her around the middle. "Fine, but we shop for shoes first! Marge has the most ugly platform heels she wore last Friday to the cinema, but they were six inches high! I felt downright tiny in my three inch heels!"

Scampering up the stairs after her sister, Lily couldn't help but wonder what she had gotten herself into.

Next chapter:

_Lily met his gaze and felt a jolt of recognition as green met hazel. "Do I know you?" _

_"Awww, Padfoot, don't make me choose between you and Bella," Potter sighed._

_"If it isn't Snape's little Muggle flower come to join in our fun!" a low voice drawled. _


End file.
